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Saturday, December 20, 2014

Why Relationships Fail!

I'm reposting this on here ...its a piece I wrote for another blog...

Whether it's a friendship, a romantic relationship, a working relationship or marriage, in my humble opinion, the underlying reason for any relationship's failure can be attributed to disrespect.

I've been happily divorced and single for almost ten years now and I've done my fair share of datingit took me too long to recognize disrespect. But after all these years, I think I can easily claim to be someone of an expert in the matter. Be it as simple and obvious as being spoken to rudely or as subtle as someone not considering your feelings or your time. According to the dictionary, disrespect is a lack of respect or courtesy.  In my definition, disrespect is when I am overlooked; when my needs are not considered or when my feelings are not considered.

Here are a few other forms of disrespect:
- Verbal abuse: Being cursed at. Someone calling you names or belittling you, even if,  to them it's "just a joke".

- Physical Abuse or emotional abuse.

- Checking out another person while with your partner.

- I believe in complete transparency and welcome the opportunity to discuss anything and everything with my mate. But there are those who don't enjoy talking. It's either never a good time or they simply don't like to talk. Either way, an unwillingness to communicate is just disrespectful to the sanctity of the relationship because open and honest communication is one of the key ingredients to a successful relationship.

- Asking your partner for money. Gosh do I have stories to share. which I won't of course. I am always taken back by this one. How do men and for that matter, even women, ask their partner for money or for them to buy them things. Now I understand when a couple is committed to each other and have agreed to share their financial resources and responsibilities, but I am referring to a new couple that is perhaps still only dating. And yet, I wish I could forget how many times, a man has in a direct or a not so direct way, asked me to buy him a cell phone, pay his phone bill, loan him money for God alone knows what etc... Pathetic!!! And being the sucker that I was, until recently, I would give the money (no more than $50) but then walk away from this person forever!!! In my head, I paid the price for failing to recognize the slime ball that the person was. I guess my Catholic school upbringing continues to hover over me in my need to feel punished for my "bad" choices. :)

This is just the beginning of a what I'm sure, is a very long list. Since the intention of this blog is to initiate a conversation among friends, I am hoping, you'll share your thoughts on the subject. Of course, you have the option of posting a comment as "anonymous", but it's always more gratifying for me as a blogger to know who I'm interacting with. But I leave that to your discretion. Either way, please do share any other examples of disrespect that come to mind.

Everyone deserves love!!! And it starts with self-love!


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